Shades
by Kirishtu
Summary: Brom races to return to Selena, wanting to see her again. Wanting to make sure she was all right. Wanting to hold her again and reassure himself Morzan's words were just that - words. Little does he know it will be for the last time. A request by VampyGurl402 as a birthday gift for Arashi Wolf Princess.


Morzan's words echoed in his head, haunting him with every heartbeat of time as it passed: "Where's my little Black Hand, Brom? What did you do to her?" Brom hadn't let the cold fear that had suddenly griped his heart show on his face. Damn his soul, he'd merely smirked at Morzan had replied, "Where do you think she is?"

The fear, the not knowing, was eating him up inside. What scared him most was that even Morzan hadn't known where Selena had disappeared to, and he knew just about everything she did. Well, everything she let him know about. For months, she and Brom had been working together to better the Varden's position against Galbatorix and his Forsworn. And during those months of working together, she and he had fallen in love. It had been enough to change Selena from the nightmare she had been to the wonderful, beautiful woman she was now. Oh, she had always been beautiful. Her beauty had been her finest weapon against him, when he'd originally planned to seduce and kill her as revenge against Morzan. But Selena had turned watery eyes on him and he'd stayed his hand, mesmerized by her.

Selena could've killed him at any moment she chose, never knowing who or what he was. Instead, she'd looked at the man she'd thought was a gardener and had asked him to listen to her.

He would've been a fool to think it wasn't a trap, and she gave no indication as to whether or not she was aware of the knife hidden in the sleeve of his tunic. But Brom sat and he listened, and he learned of her infant son, Murtagh, whom she never saw except on the rarest of occasions, and her life as Morzan's Black Hand, his concubine, and his slave. She told him of her girlhood back home in a little village called Carvahall nestled deep in the wilds of Palancar Valley, of how the winters were harsh and the rumors about the mountains known as the Spine. She even told him of her older brother, Garrow, and of her brother's beloved wife, Marian, who was fat with a child of her own.

Over the weeks, Selena had made the gardener her confidante, seeking him out when she had a spare moment and telling him of another tale of her home, or a story about her young son. And Brom found himself falling in love with her despite knowing how dangerous it was. How dangerous she was. Eventually, Brom had taken Selena aside and revealed to her the truth about himself. He waited for her to raise the alarm, to kill him outright, to alert Morzan to his presence, but she did none of that. To Brom's surprise, Selena had just looked at him, and walked away.

He didn't see her for about half a week after that, and he started to wonder if he'd ever see her again. He constantly looked over his shoulder, waiting to see Morzan stalking toward him, Zar'roc in hand. He checked under his bed for hidden traps, made sure he wasn't followed when he went to make his reports to the Varden, and otherwise feared for his own life. Then, one night, Brom was awakened from a light sleep and a dagger was in his hand before he'd even registered that he'd moved. Selena was there, leaning against the door of his small room, dressed in dark leathers and tooled bracers. Her eyes were riveted on his face, as if she were waiting for him to lunge at her. When he made no move to do that - or put the knife away - Selena began to talk.

When she'd finished, Brom finally moved. He sheathed the dagger, stood, and embraced her. Selena clung to him as if he were a piece of wood and she were a drowning woman. She had renounced Morzan, renounced everything he stood for, everything he was, and had pledged herself to the Varden. And to Brom.

A sharp sound brought Brom back to the present. He pulled on his reins and pulled his horse to a full stop. The animal was panting harshly, a pinkish foam coating its lips and chest. Despite his haste to return to Morzan's estate to find Selena, Brom couldn't bring himself to ruin his steed. So he dismounted and let the horse rest, walking alongside the animal and waiting impatiently for the horse to recover.

His thoughts, in the meantime, returned to the past.

Two days after Selena had renounced Morzan, she delivered her first report on his comings and goings. Brom had delivered that information to the Varden, and had returned to Selena's side. It continued on in this way for some time, until Brom and Selena crossed some sort of unspoken boundary they'd unknowingly built between them. The kiss they'd shared had turned into so much more. Even now, his body reacted to the memory of Selena's soft curves and sweet darkness. He fought his reaction down - riding made him sore enough; riding while aroused would be excruciating.

Brom and Selena had kept their affair concealed from Morzan, and perhaps it was a testament to the man's arrogance that he never realized his own Black Hand was feeding the Varden every scrap of information she could get her hands on, either from Morzan himself or her own assignments. Brom, too, continued on with his task, though now the time he spent on Morzan's estate was just to spend time with Selena. Their nights - or days - together were spent one way or another in each other's company. He thought nothing of her absences, knowing he'd see her again sooner or later, and he'd get to hold her in his arms, feel her pressed against him, and know she was safe.

But then Brom received word that Hefring had been successful in his task - though he'd only been able to snatch one dragon's egg - and that the backstabbing thief had vanished with that egg, rather than meeting with the Varden as he was supposed to.

It was no surprise, then, what Brom had to do.

He left without a word, not telling Selena where he was going or why. She hadn't been herself lately, and though Brom wanted to wait and see what was the matter, he knew he had little time if he wanted to beat Morzan to Hefring. So he left, and as he raced to meet with his own contacts, he chanced a glance over his shoulder to see a glittering, blood red dragon lifting into the sky with a single rider on its back. And so Brom pushed his horse faster, even though he knew it was useless to try and make a horse outrun a dragon.

Brom looked at his mount, decided it was safe to ride again, and swung up into the saddle. He set his heels to the horse's flanks and urged it into a gallop.

His mind traveled back in time, over a fortnight ago. He'd caught up to Hefring only to discover that Morzan had gotten to Hefring first. The man was dead; the egg was gone.

Anger and frustration coursed through him. All this hard work, for nothing! He hadn't felt this angry since he'd lost Saphira - and then that anger had been tempered by insane grief. Now he was just angry, because they had lost their only hope of ever confronting Galbatorix on fair ground. He pushed the anger aside because he had no choice, but a few days later word reached him that Morzan had holed up in Gil'ead, and he'd had the egg with him.

Except Gil'ead was a fortress with no way in except the front gate, and if Brom tried that way, he'd be dead in a matter of minutes.

And then he enlisted the help of a young man, idealistic and aching for adventure, a young man who had never seen real battle and still had romantic notions about it. An irritating little bastard by the name of Jeod.

Jeod had claimed he'd found a secret entrance into Uru'baen, so Brom had found him and had taken him to the Varden. It was that passage Hefring had used to steal the dragon egg.

Since Brom needed to get into an impenetrable city, he needed someone who had a knack of finding things that wouldn't usually be found. So, with Jeod in tow, Brom had sped with all haste to Gil'ead. There, they'd been separated, and Brom had faced Morzan to the death. Then, with Morzan's words ringing in his head, Brom had grabbed the egg, Zar'roc, and had begun to make his way out of the city as fast as he dared. He hid the egg where he was sure agents of the Varden would find it, then took off without a word.

And now here he was, racing faster than he'd ever raced before to Morzan's manor, hoping to find Selena there and waiting.

It took him another few days to reach the manor, and this time he didn't bother with disguises or pleasantries; Morzan was dead, and most of his enchantments Brom and Selena had already disabled months ago. He burst into the courtyard, jumped off his horse, and raced into the castle, startling servants and guards alike. His expression had been enough to warn them off, and he made his way to Selena's chamber, a room he'd seen many times and had slept in more than once.

As he reached the hall, Brom slowed his pace. Leaving the room were two maids, their expressions solemn. They started when they saw him, their eyes going wide. Brom knew why - he was covered in travel grime, blood, and other nasty things, and he carried Zar'roc on his back. Even if they didn't speak out loud, he saw in their eyes that they knew what had happened to their master.

Brom pushed past the startled women and muscled his way into the room. Selena was lying on her bed, the blankets pulled up to her chest. Her hands were clasped just below her breasts, and her hair was splayed across the pillow beneath her head. Her eyes were closed, and her skin had a pallor to it that made her seem as though she had been fighting some illness. If it weren't for the fact that her chest wasn't moving, Brom would've sworn that she was merely sleeping.

He started toward her. The maids were standing just outside the threshold, neither running nor coming closer. Brom hesitantly reached out and took hold of Selena's cold hand, clutching it tight. Grief swelled within him. It was just as sharp and acute as the day Saphira died, but he didn't feel the soul-wrenching loneliness he had when he'd lost his dragon, the partner of his heart. He felt tears sting his eyes and he blinked them back. Selena looked serene in death, a small smile on her lips as if she knew he was with her now.

One maid, Brom wasn't sure which, hesitantly said, "She waited, sir, long as she could. But the sickness got the better of her. She passed only a few hours ago."

Brom gently replaced Selena's hand. "What sickness?"

"I don't rightly know, sir. The mistress was sick as a dog for the past couple of weeks, but she asked not to be disturbed. So we left her alone."

"Sick?" Asked Brom.

"The healers would know more than I, sir,"

"And where can I find the healers?"

The maid told him and Brom moved away from Selena. When he reached the threshold, he looked at the maids and said, "Don't let anyone on this room. I'll be back to take care of her."

The two maids looked at each other, then looked at his sword, his bloody clothes, and his face - and they both nodded. Brom closed the door behind him and watched the maids closed the door. He waited for them to be out of earshot, then spoke a sentence in the ancient language, locking the door against any intrusion but his own, and then another spell designed to protect the door from attempts to break it down. Once he placed those two spells, Brom used a sleeve to wipe his eyes, then went to go look for the healers who had seen to Selena.

He found them not far from the servants' quarters. The elderly woman and her apprentice looked at him in shock at his appearance, and the crone insisted on healing his wounds and making sure none of the wounds had become septic. Brom almost declined out of hand, since he'd used magic to heal the worst of his wounds, but he realized that being under their care would be the best opportunity to find out what had happened to Selena.

"The mistress," Brom began, "what happened to her?"

The young girl looked at the crone. Brom hadn't bothered to hide Zar'roc, and so he knew what they were thinking. That maybe he was Morzan in disguise. Even if he wasn't, he could be a spy, and saying the wrong thing might get them killed. He saw them weighing loyalties, so he said, "You can tell me the truth. You've nothing to fear from Morzan anymore."

The crone sighed softly, then said, "The lady had taken ill a little more than a fortnight ago. Couldn't keep any food down, and if she did, it was only by sheer will. I wanted to look in on her, but she refused to have anyone see her."

"Then about a fortnight ago, I saw the lady preparing a horse. She had a pack with her, like she was going on an extended trip." The apprentice added. "She was wearing so many clothes, and she was sweating something fierce. I offered to help her, but she snapped at me."

So, Selena had run away. But why? Where would she go? And if she went, why return? For Murtagh? For him?

"And when did she return?" Brom asked.

"Perhaps only a day ago. She looked quite frightful. Her skin was bloodless; dark circles under her eyes. She shouldn't have been traveling, let me tell you. But she insisted she was fine, and up until a few hours ago, it looked like she'd recover. The strain was too much, I guess."

Brom looked at the crone inquisitively. "What strain?"

The crone lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "She struggled to hide it, but old ladies like us, we know. We've been around the block a few times in our day. She had the same illness when she was about to give birth to Murtagh." The crone sighed. "Such a shame. That boy is so young, and now he's lost his mother. What a cruel fate that child has in store for him."

Brom felt numb. He didn't say anything more as the healers finished tending to him. When he left them, he made his way back to Selena's room, let himself in, locked the door behind him, then sat against the door and cried. When he could cry no more, and was left in a state of utter calm, he began to form a plan. There was nothing he could do for Murtagh. Even if the boy was still here, Galbatorix would soon send soldiers to collect him and bring him to Uru'baen. And as much as Brom hated to leave a child - that he was Morzan's didn't matter - in the hands of the madman, it was probably safer for him than traveling the road with Brom or being given to the Varden. Too many knives would be aimed at his back simply because he was Morzan's son. Yes, Murtagh had a cruel fate ahead of him. His father's shadow would ever hang over him, casting into doubt his actions and his honor. It would take a strong person to look past the sins of the father to see the honor and integrity of the son. He hoped that one day, he'd be able to explain to Murtagh why he'd been left behind so cruelly, but he knew that much of it was his choice.

_You wouldn't want him left here, would you, Selena? You'd want me to take him with me, to protect and raise him, to teach him honor. To teach him not to be like his father but more like you._

Brom's eyes stung.

He finally pushed himself to his feet and moved to Selena's side, once more taking up her hand in his. He knelt by the bedside, just holding onto her, staring at her face, wishing fervently that she would wake up and tell him to stop worrying so much, that she was just fine. But she didn't.

"Selena," Brom says hoarsely, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you. I left without saying good bye to you, without explaining anything. I'm do, so sorry my love. If I could go back and do it all over again, I'd tell you the damn egg could wait, and I'd stay with you." His cheeks felt wet. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me for putting the fate of Alagaësia above you?"

He almost felt her smack him, and he smiled. "You'd be so angry with me for saying that, wouldn't you? Nothing is more important than toppling Galbatorix, right? Not you, not me, not even our..." He stopped, looked at her stomach and again tried to figure out how he never noticed. But Selena had been skilled in magic, skilled in hiding things she didn't want known. "I promise you, I'll save Alagaësia. I'll make a good world that you'd be proud of. A world where a child won't have to grow up under the shadow of his father or afraid of being taken or killed or forced to do something he doesn't want to."

His voice was trembling. "I wish I could see you again, one last time. I wish I could hold you, talk to you, tell you how much I love you. Gods, Selena, why didn't you tell me? I should've been here! I should've gone with you! I could've protected you. Why didn't you..." He took a breath. "You knew, didn't you? How couldn't you know? You were Morzan's right hand, his closest servant. When he left, you knew why, and you knew I'd leave too."

Brom reached out and stroked Selena's hair. "You didn't want to distract me. You knew if I didn't fight Morzan with everything I had, I'd be dead now. Why couldn't you have left me a message? Ah, listen to me, love. Whining." Brom laughed, but he wasn't sure if he was laughing out of mirth or out of sadness. "I love you, you know that? I know you did what you did for us, for our land. For the Varden. For our..." He couldn't bring himself to say it. He let silence lapse around them, unsure if he could keep speaking now without crying, or if he had any more to say.

Finally, he rose and picked Selena up. He knew that he couldn't leave her here, to be buried by men who wouldn't care less, by people who wouldn't give her the last rites she needed. He couldn't leave her here, either, to be desecrated by Galbatorix and those who served him.

He ended the spell that kept the door locked against intrusion and carried Selena, wrapped in a quilt taken from her bed, out of the castle. He carried her to the courtyard, where his horse still waited. He draped her over the saddle carefully, then gathered the animal's reins and led it out of the keep. No one tried to stop him. Even if they had, Brom was sure he would've killed them, and left their corpses behind as a warning and as a sign of his temper.

How long he traveled he didn't know, but he knew where he was - the foothills of the Spine. Brom paused, staring at the dark trees, then headed beneath the pines, blazing a trail to a place he hoped would be perfect for Selena.

He dug the grave with magic, lowered her body, quilt and all, into the hole, then used magic to cover her up. A single slab of stone, found after hours of searching, was all he had to mark the site. He didn't want to leave her a physical epitaph, just in case Galbatorix's agents happened upon the place accidentally.

When he was finished, he placed his hand on the stone and sighed deeply, feeling tears beginning to fall again. "This will be the last time I cry, my love. I promise you that. I'm going to set my sights on freeing Alagaësia from that bastard's grip, and I'm going to create a world where people like you and me can be together without fear. I'm going to do this for you. I won't see you again in this world. I think this will be our last chance to say anything to each other." He paused, as if expecting her to fill the silence. Brom smiled. "I wish I could see you one last time, my love. To hold you again. To kiss you. I guess I'm just going to have to wait until we meet again in the world after this one."

His hand trembled on the stone. "I won't fail you. I won't let what we had together be forgotten, and I won't let our child grow up unprotected. I promise you that, too." Finally, he stepped away, and gathered the reins of his horse. He paused, looking back over his shoulder. "I love you, Selena. Don't forget me, all right? We'll be together again some day."

Brom hesitated again, but forced himself to turn and walk away. Once out of the trees, he mounted his horse, turned the animal toward the road north, and began to make his way toward Selena's home town of Carvahall. First, he would check on the child Selena had brought into the world, his child, and then he would return to the Varden to lay the groundwork for the future.


End file.
